Posted by jagoindia on May 15, 2009
Afghan TV Guide
8:30 Mad About Everything
9:00 Suddenly Sanctions
9:30 The Brian BenBen Bin Laden Show
10:00 Allah McBeal
8:00 Wheel of Terror and Fortune
8:30 The Price is Right if Osama Says It’s Right
9:00 Children are Forbidden From Saying the Darndest Things
9:30 Afganistans Wackiest Public Execution Bloopers
10:00 Buffy the Yankee Imperialist Dog Slayer
8:00 US Military Secrets Revealed
8:30 When Northern Alliance Attack
9:00 Two Guys, A Girl and A Pita Bread
9:30 Just Shoot Everyone
8:00 Fatima Loves Chachi
9:00 Veronicas Closet Full of Long, Black, Shapeless Dresses and Veils
9:30 My Two Bagdads
8:00 Judge Laden
8:30 Funniest Super 8 Home Movies
9:00 Captured Northern Alliance Rebels Say the Darndest Things
9:30 Achmeds Creek
Posted in Afghanistan, Humor, Islam, Islamofascism, Terrorism | Leave a Comment »
Posted by jagoindia on May 10, 2009
Posted in Humor, Muhammad | Leave a Comment »
Posted by jagoindia on December 12, 2008
Dear Prime Minister Manmohan Singh/Atal Bihari Vajpayee/Narasimha Rao /Rajiv Gandhi,
Pakistan is shocked by/strongly condemns//is pleasantly surprised with the success of our “freedom fighters” in the loss of dozens/hundreds/thousands/ of innocent lives in the /terrorist attacks/bomb blasts/ sniper attack/hijacking/religious riots/other disaster that occurred in a busy marketplace/train/housing colony Indian parliament buildingan upper-class hotel / temple in Mumbai/Delhi/Kashmir / Assam / Punjab / Gujarat / Other.
The Pakistani citizens/soldiers/fidayeens/“friendship agents” / students who were caught red-handed / found dead at the scene of the crime / convicted of the crime are actually undercover Indian / American / Israeli agents. Any Pakistanis proven to be guilty of terrorism will be rewarded handsomely / dealt with severely / promoted to Lt. Colonel / given a new Indian passport and sent back to India / handed over to the Americans as proof of our commitment in the war on terror.
There are no Pakistani army-funded training camps / terrorist camps / madrasaas in Azad Kashmir / Afghanistan / Nepal / Bangladesh . The satellite images / photographs / eyewitness accounts / videotaped confessions obtained by the Indians is fraudulent / fake / inconclusive / are actually from Indian terrorist camps and part of a larger RAW / CIA conspiracy to destabilize the Pakistani government by stalling democracy / encouraging sectarian violence / undermining Pakistani institutions / causing the next military coup in Pakistan. A destabilized Pakistani government / mafia could cause Pakistan to become a dangerous nuclear WalMart / Target / Seven-Eleven and a terrorist breeding ground / university / research lab that would be worse for the world.
We hope this will not derail the peace process started with the recent India-Pakistan cricket series / Lahore bus yatra / Muzafarabad- Srinagar road opening / Bollywood peace concert / open borders initiative / other confidence-building measures. We look forward to justifying further attacks against innocent civilians / resolving the core issue of Kashmir / developing best-of-breed plausible deniability defenses.
We stand by / are plotting against our Indian brethren in their hour / days / years / decades of pain.
Asif Ali Zardari
President, Pakistan/Chief Operating Officer, Taliban Inc./General, Pakistani Army
Posted in Al taqiyya, Humor, India, Islamofascism, Must read article, Pakistan, Terrorism | 3 Comments »
Posted by jagoindia on July 21, 2008
Guantanamo Adoption Program
Someone recently wrote a letter to the White House complaining about the treatment of a captive taken during the Afghanistan war. Below is a copy of the response.
January 29, 2005
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Dear Mr. Rothstein:
Thank you for your recent letter criticizing our treatment of the Taliban and Al Qaeda detainees currently held at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. The administration takes these matters seriously, and your opinion was heard loud and clear here in Washington. You’ll be pleased to learn that, thanks to the concerns of citizens like you, we are creating the Terrorist Retraining Program, to be called the “Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers” program, or LARK for short.
In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we are placing one terrorist under your personal care. Your detainee has been selected and scheduled for transportation to your residence next Monday. Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of admonishment.
We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with those you so strongly recommended in your letter. Although Ahmed is sociopathic and extremely violent, we hope that your sensitivity to what you described as his “attitudinal problem” will help him overcome this character flaw. Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural differences.
Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or nail clippers. He is also expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices from common household products, so you may wish to keep those items locked up, unless you feel that this might offend him.
Ahmed will not wish to interact with your wife or daughters since he views females as a subhuman form of property. This is a particularly sensitive subject for him. He has been known to show violent tendencies around women who fail to comply with the dress code he considers appropriate, but I’m sure that over time they will come to enjoy the anonymity offered by the bhurka. Just remind them that it is all part of respecting his culture and his religious beliefs.
Thanks again for your letter. We truly appreciate it when folks like you inform us of the proper way to do our job. Take good care of Ahmed and good luck!
Posted in Afghanistan, Humor, Islamofascism, Terrorism | Leave a Comment »